The legend of the dreamcatcher: Native Americans of the Great Plains believe the air is filled with both good and bad dreams. Historically, dreamcatchers were hung in the tipi or lodge and on a baby’s cradle board. According to legend, the good dreams pass through the center hole to the sleeping person. The bad dreams are trapped in the web, where they perish in the light of dawn.
Terri Levin, of Mescalero Apache heritage, makes dreamcatchers in the tradition of her ancestors. Growing up Levin had no clue who those ancestors were but deep down she knew she had Native American blood.
“I was adopted very young, almost two years old,” she said. “I was raised Swedish. My parents were open with me and told me I was adopted.”
Had they not, Levin would have figured it out soon enough as her long, dark hair and darker skin tone sat in contrast to the fair skin and blonde locks of her parents. As a child and young adult she never entertained the thought of looking for her biological parents.
“One of my husband’s kept encouraging me and I was like, ‘I don’t know, I don’t want to disturb anybody,’” she said.
She didn’t know the circumstance of her adoption. Finally, she heeded his advice and with Kansas being an open adoption state, she started looking into it. That was when she said, “A God thing” happened.
“I got on the computer and back then I didn’t know much about computers and I was fumbling around the state site and got frustrated,” she said. “I finally just hit the X to click out of the whole thing and up popped a form to apply for your original birth certificate.”
She thought it was weird that the form popped up but went ahead, printed it, filled it out and mailed it in. The instructions said it would be at least 10 to 14 days before she would receive a response.
“Three days,” she said “I had it in my hands in three days. How does that happen?”
With trepidation, Levin opened the envelope and unfolded the paper that held answers to who she was. Her eyes settled on her birth name — Smith, her heart sank.
“My birth name was Smith,” she said. “I was like, ‘Well great, like I’m ever going to find that.”
Her birth record also showed her mother’s maiden name was Disney.
“Yes, related to Walt Disney,” she said. “Not the well-known brother — the one you very, very, seldom hear about…”
She learned her birth parents’ names but the search stopped there, until one day it dropped in on her unexpectedly.
Levin was working at Central Kansas Foundation Treatment Center in Salina.
“I had a speaker coming in to tell his story, a guy I’d known for three years,” she said. “It never dawned on me his last name. We never introduced ourselves by our last names, but this day he did. He says, “Hi, I’m Russell Disney.”
It clicked at that moment. She was outside and looked up and saw several hawks circling above. She took it as a sign. At the end of the day, she took Disney aside.
“I said, ‘Russell, I don’t know how to ask you this other than point blank. Do you know Janette Disney?” she said. “‘Well, yeah, that’s my aunt,’ he said. He looked at me and I told him, ‘she’s my mom.’
“‘Peggy!’ That was my birth name. ‘Peggy!’” he said. “‘Oh my god. We have looked for you for years and years.’”
She learned she had seven siblings. All but one has been reunited with the family. She has a sister, 10 months younger than her, who they have yet to find.
Embracing her heritage
When Levin learned her heritage was Apache, a lot began to make sense. Growing up she was always drawn to historic re-enactments, which are common around Kansas. She went, not to see the mountain men or the pioneer displays but to immerse herself in Native culture.
Although her adopted parents didn’t know her heritage, they understood and respected the draw she had to American Indians and brought her to powwows and Native celebrations.
The tribe her ancestors are from are now on a reservation in South Central New Mexico. Before being relegated to the reservation, the Mescalero Apache lived from the Texas panhandle well into Mexico.
“We go back to the Incas and Aztec,” Levin said.
While many in her family embrace their heritage, not all do. Many, denied their heritage decades ago because of persecution. Recent generations, however, are returning to their roots.
“One of the first discussions my mom and I had was about her Native heritage” Levin said. “It warmed my heart because I just knew, I knew I was Native.”
Levin wanted to learn all she could. About 15 years ago she and her husband moved to New Mexico, close to the reservation.
“We were inspired to move there for various spiritual reasons,” she said. “I lived there for 10 years and I got to partake in some ceremonies on the rez (reservation).”
She was readily accepted but she also had to learn some of the cultural differences. She recalled one faux pas she made right off the bat.
Not knowing who was who and the role different people played she walked right into an office and said, “Hi,” to the gentleman behind the desk. She just started talking and asking questions. Then she saw the name plate — Joseph Geronimo. The great-great-grandson of the Geronimo of historic legend.
He was gracious though and spoke to her about how she can start learning about the culture and the language.
Around that time, she went back to school to get her bachelor’s degree in addiction counseling to help Mescalero Apache with a problem that plagues Native Americans across the country. Her professor introduced her to people on the reservation.
“That was more of my official in,” she said. “I talked to one lady and I said, ‘How do I learn and become part of the tribe?’ She says, ‘Well, you either are or you aren’t. If you even have one drop of Native blood and it’s in your spirit. It doesn’t matter if you’re tagged, it doesn’t matter if you have a number or a card, either you are or you aren’t.’ That made all the difference in the world to me.”
Levin spent the next decade immersed in the Apache culture, working with them, and learning. When she was invited to participate in the Feast of Blessings, a ceremony to honor the elders, she knew she belonged.
“It was such an honor to be asked to be a part of that,” she said.
Inspired art
Levin eventually returned to Kansas where she continues to honor her heritage and work on her art. But now, as she weaves dream catchers, she does so with a new sense of what attracted her to the craft long before she knew her heritage.
“I made dream catchers years before that,” she said. “It was part of my spirit coming out.”
She learned from an American Indian at one of the re-enactments. Her first attempt failed and she couldn’t get the hang of it. So, she put all materials away, where they sat for a few years, until the time was right.
“I tried again,” she said. “I just sat down, started making it and it just flowed.”
And it has not stopped flowing since. Levin’s dream catchers come in all sizes and designs. She often incorporates crystals or tokens in her work. More recently she has started painting on leather pieces, which are incorporated into the dream catcher.
She does custom work, which to an outsider might not seem like it carries the spiritual weight of a dream catcher, but there are reasons behind them. For example, she recently incorporated a painting of the Looney Toons’ character Tweety Bird onto one. The cartoon character may not be thought to have a spiritual meaning but the client who ordered it did so with her grandmother in mind. The grandmother is of Native heritage and loved Tweety Bird. So, for her, there was a connection.
“It’s whatever speaks to you,” Levin said. “That’s the thing about Native culture. There are some very strict traditions but it’s all what speaks to you — how Spirit guides you, what does it mean to you.”
When she starts creating, she lets Spirit guide her. She’ll start with a little coffee and alone time before moving into her art space; put on some music, light some sage and start working. She’ll have a picture in her mind of what the finished dream catcher will look like but is seldom turns out that way.
With her painting she can see the difference in the quality from before she found her true self. Her adopted parents are accomplished artists. They taught her technique but she didn’t have their talent, she said.
“I see the difference now,” she said. “When I used to try to sit down and paint just to paint there was no passion, no connection, no spirituality and that makes a big difference.”
If she is not making a dream catcher for a client, she’ll still have a person or a type of person in mind when she starts working on it. That often guides her to incorporating some kind of animal, bird or even an insect — all of which have special meanings in the Native American cultures.
“Once I start, it just comes,” she said. “It is spiritually inspired.”
Levin has branched out to making more Native American inspired products including smudge feather, some of which she paints. Smudging is a process of clearing the air. It purifies and protects one’s living and work space, she said.
Smudging is a sacred ceremony, which uses smoldering sage to lift away sadness, impurities, and anxieties leaving peace and harmony. Smudging has roots in many ancient cultures and Levin said one does not need to have American Indian lineage to benefit from smudging.
The smudging feathers she makes are used to help the smoke from the sage waft through the air.
Levin sells the dream catchers and the smudging feathers, along with white mountain sage at Wilkins Acres General Store at 2323 Fair Road, Abilene.
